Every coaching business has a moment nobody plans for: The client ends the engagement. Sometimes because the goal is reached. Sometimes halfway through, with no clear reason given.
In May 2022, Forbes asked ten members of its Coaches Council what they had learned from clients leaving. I was one of them. Four years on, I am rereading the ten answers with Swiss boardrooms in mind, where most of my work happens.
One observation up front: Almost all ten lessons are about the coach, about attitude and expectations, far more than about the client.
Kathi Laughman calls it the most valuable lesson of her career: Coaching aims at an outcome, and once the outcome is there, the work ends. I agree. A CFO who tells me after nine months that he no longer needs me has paid me the biggest compliment available. Many return years later with a new question, because they know what coaching delivers.
Origin: Kathi Laughman, The Mackenzie Circle LLC
Some clients leave because coaching touches an identity they want to keep. The doer who decides everything himself. The boss who never shows weakness. That role costs them something, and it also carries them. Question it and you get resistance, and sometimes the resistance ends the engagement. For me that is information about the client, and it belongs in the contracting conversation.
Origin: Palena Neale, unabridged
Coaching asks for reflection and action. Someone in the middle of a crisis, a separation, a diagnosis, a loss, often needs stabilisation first, possibly therapeutic support. Accountability to a coach comes later. I say this openly, even when it costs me a mandate. Clients remember who took them seriously at that moment.
Origin: Meredith Leigh Moore, Leverette Weekes
Nick Bolton's advice: Ask clients early how they experience the coaching and whether the direction is right. Many coaches brood alone: "What can I do differently?" The better question is "What can we do differently?", and it belongs in the room. In my practice this is a fixed item after the third session, long before the mood turns.
Origin: Nick Bolton, Animas Centre for Coaching
Csaba Toth puts it in one line: You cannot wake somebody who is not awake. Some clients want attention for their problem, because the problem has become part of their story, and a solution would take that story away. When such a client leaves, I do not take it personally. I often never learn the real reason. My responsibility ends where I have given my best, every single time.
Origin: Csaba Toth, ICQ Global
My contribution to the panel, in essence: The client is at the centre. Tools and methods are helpful, even necessary, and they belong in the background. In the foreground stand the relationship, resonance, orientation towards goal, solution and resources, and the stimulation of reflection. In short: Attitude counts. Four years later I would repeat it word for word.
Origin: Cristian Hofmann, Empowering Executives, SUPERGROUP AG
Whether a client leaves on good terms or annoyed: The door stays open. Circumstances change. An executive board member who says goodbye at the peak faces a merger two years later and calls again. Whoever shows class at the farewell makes that return easy. After every closing session I write a short personal note, with no sales intent.
Origin: Arthi Rabikrisson, Prerna Advisory
Luke Feldmeier names the most common cause of disappointing engagements: Coach and client work towards different goals without noticing. In Switzerland a third party is usually involved, HR or the line manager who pays for the coaching. Three sets of expectations, one contract. I therefore put in writing at the start how success will be measured, and revisit it halfway through if needed.
Origin: Luke Feldmeier, Online Leadership Training
Randy Shattuck describes relationships lasting about a decade that end when the company is sold or the founders cash out. Translated to executive coaching: A mandate has a natural length, usually 6 to 12 months, while some relationships span role changes over years. Both are healthy. It turns unhealthy when a coach cultivates dependency because it secures revenue.
Origin: Randy Shattuck, The Shattuck Group
Clients occasionally confuse coaching with mentoring, and coaches are easily drawn into the adviser's chair. Josephine Kant argues for a clear separation. I hold a similar line: Someone who mainly wants industry knowledge and a career path to copy is better served by an experienced mentor. I say so in the first conversation, and sometimes I make the introduction.
Origin: Josephine Kant, Google for Startups
In the coaching business, a departure is often booked as a loss. My experience says otherwise: A large share of my new mandates comes through former clients who recommend me or return in a new role.
Working with pay-for-results, which I offer on request, adds a further interest in a clean ending: The fee is tied to an agreed goal, and a goal reached is a reason to leave. So the closing is part of the product: A final session with a review, a written summary of progress, a check-in booked six months out. The mandate ends, the relationship stays.
Further reading on hofmann.coach: Executive Coaching Zurich · Executive Coach · 14 lessons for new leaders
Note: This page goes back to the Forbes Coaches Council expert panel "10 Coaches Share Valuable Lessons They Learned From Clients Leaving", published 5 May 2022. The commentary is mine.
Cristian Hofmann is an executive coach in Zurich and Schaffhausen (MAS Coaching & Supervision BSO, Forbes contributor). Over more than 20 years he has coached more than 1,500 leaders: CEOs, executive boards and leadership teams in Switzerland, with measurably agreed goals and, on request, pay-for-results. More about Cristian Hofmann.
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