If you want people to collaborate creatively, make sure their relationships grow strong enough to withstand enough frustration and contradiction. The basis for such resilient, real relationships is an honest, clarifying way of handling tension. These ten behaviours come from management coaching with leadership teams. Nine are from April 2020, the tenth I added today.
1. Weigh the conflict. Is it worth having it out? Then approach the other person proactively. No waiting, no postponing.
2. Keep eye contact. Don't turn away or shut down. In written or phone contact, keep showing deliberate interest and don't break off the discussion.
3. Take time for the conversation, consciously. Conflicts eat more time when you refuse to make time for them.
4. Show compassion. Take the other person's perspective and understand it, without forgetting your own position or needs.
5. Show recognition. For the willingness to resolve the conflict, for the methodical work on it, or for the difficulty of the circumstances. Detach from the problem itself and acknowledge the circumstances.
6. Be transparent about your own approach. That produces fewer misunderstandings, and distrust gets no room.
7. Avoid giving in too early. Certain conflict types try to end the conflict prematurely by throwing in the towel. Avoid that. It solves the problem for a short time only.
8. Keep the big picture. What are the shared goals you are working towards? Refer back to effective collaboration.
9. If consensus is out of reach, aim for consent by invalidating the arguments that speak against a workable solution.
10. Decide when you decide. If the team cannot resolve the conflict, the leader takes a decision the team can work with, and says so.
Of the ten, number 3 is the one leaders break most often, and number 7 the one they break most quietly. Both have the same cause: The conflict feels like a cost, so it gets rationed. In management coaching I ask leadership teams to book the conversation before they feel ready. The readiness arrives in the room, rarely before.
Further reading on hofmann.coach: How leaders resolve conflicts constructively · Shared leadership: 15 tactful ways to challenge your boss · Executive Coaching Zurich
Cristian Hofmann is an executive coach in Zurich and Schaffhausen (MAS Coaching & Supervision BSO, Forbes contributor). Over more than 20 years he has coached more than 1,500 leaders: CEOs, executive boards and leadership teams in Switzerland, with measurably agreed goals and, on request, pay-for-results. More about Cristian Hofmann.
This website uses cookies to ensure you get the best experience on our website. Learn more
